Be aware of telltale signs of child abuse

A foundation in Abu Dhabi is raising awareness in the community about how to stay alert to the issue of abuse of children with special needs and helping parents and children become more aware of how to spot abuse amid lack of information on this subject in society.

“People with disabilities are more vulnerable to abuse, and specifically sexual abuse, than any other person,” Professor Eman Gaad, Sedra (Services for Educational Development Research and Awareness) Lead Training Consultant and the Dean for Faculty of Education at the British University in Dubai, told Gulf News.

Though there is a heightened awareness on the many aspects to do with children with disabilities, abuse, including sexual abuse, is a relatively lesser known aspect and Sedra, a non-profit organisation founded by Shaikha Aljazia Bint Saif Al Nahyan, is aiming to address this issue with greater focus.

Through workshops being held in Abu Dhabi, Sedra is teaching parents about abuse, how to identify it and how to prevent it, as part of their parents’ support group meetings.

“Sedra would like to provide a balanced approach between protection and independence,” Prof Gaad said. “What we don’t want is for people to lock their children up due to overprotection

The workshops teach parents innovative techniques they can use to help their young children understand the importance of self-protection, some even include games. For example, parents are taught to use a hula hoop and walk about with their children and when they bump into each other, they are taught to realise that their space is being invaded, and say, ‘Oh, you can’t come into my space’.

“Children with disabilities need to see their personal space,” said Prof Gaad.

Other techniques include the showing of videos that depict protection so children can understand what is their space and how they must protect it.

Signs of abuse

Prof Gaad said these can include behavioural changes such as having a tantrum or being scared of people or places.

“For example, a child who has always been used to the driver for years starts to suddenly show signs of panic or throw a tantrum when the driver comes to pick him up to or from school. If this happens, it could point to a problem.”

Prof Gaad also asks parents to have a chart on the fridge where they can mark any bruises that they see on their child’s body.

“Children with disabilities are more prone to falling over so they might bruise easily, you will not be able to remember all the bruises, so record them.” Keeping track of the bruises will flag up new unexplainable ones, said Prof Gaad.

“Basically, we have to measure it with one ruler: What are my child’s habits and what is new? This is the magic key that parents should possess.”

Tips and techniques to help children with disabilities spot abuse

It is okay to say this is a private part and no one should touch it, rather than never talking about it.

Role modelling and role playing. Use dolls as they work very well.

Put a piece of paper on your mouth and show them this area is a no touch area. Repeat for private body areas.

Never be shy to discuss sexual matters, keeping it age appropriate. By barring sexual conversation in the family, you are giving an abuser more of an opportunity to take advantage of your vulnerable child.

Educate children about being alone. They should know about locations where they are more likely to be abused and avoid being alone there. i.e. games arcades, neighbourhoods, club meetings, public bathrooms, basically any social gathering where they can be taken aside.

Explain to the child in a simple language. If you have a child who is none-verbal, do it through symbols and pictures.

You have to have a policy in your house that everyone follows. What is allowed and what is not allowed, according to your culture and religion.

When explaining the safety aspects, show children the context of the message in visual ways. Children understand better by seeing.

Three big signs of abuse

Children with disabilities often cannot communicate when they are being abused, said Professor Eman Gaad, Sedra Lead Training Consultant and the Dean for Faculty of Education at the British University in Dubai. “There are several signs however that parents can look for, of which the main three are; 1. A child talking about a sexual topic that he/she should not have access to: For example, if a child suddenly starts to communicate to parents words, concepts or terminologies of a sexual nature that he shouldn’t have access to at his age, then we need to know if he/she has been watching inappropriate movies. Has he/she got access to such television shows? Or worse, has he/she been abused by someone who has been using those terms?

2. Food disorders: These are very common in children if they are abused. They change their feeding habits. For example, if he/she all of a sudden goes from a non-eater to a severe eater or vice versa, then there might be a problem.

3. Appearing with gifts and items that he didn’t have before in his household: Don’t be worried about every new item as children exchange items at school all the time. But find out where and whom he got the item from.

Professor Gaad cautions parents to not panic if any of the above occur as there can always be an innocent reason. However, they should be vigilant and check the child is not in danger.

Who can be an abuser?

Parents need to be aware of everyone in a child’s life and to teach them to not accept inappropriate behaviour, such as being touched on their body parts, kissed or hit, from anyone.

“Age, race and gender are not factors when it comes to being an abuser. ANYONE can be an abuser. In fact, one of the characteristics of an abuser is someone who is super-charming and nice.”

She urges parents to set rules about what is acceptable and what is not acceptable with their child, and make sure everyone in the house follows them. “This way, if a child experiences behaviour that he or she is not used to, they will flag it to you

source : gulfnews