Young man's guide to sexual awakening

Peers and porn are usually a young man's guide to sexual awakening. Our expert analyses two typical experiences that young adults should be wary of For most youngsters today, the introduction to the world of sex and women usually takes a more graphic, closeted, tell-tale route with stolen dvds, borrowed magazines and a few personal experiences of peers. While young girls learn to be cautious for the fear of obvious consequences, young men have the liberty to be blatant about not preserving their virginity. As the national average for penetrative intercourse among the youth sees new lows each year, currently averaging at around 16 years, sexual health and awareness become big issues for parents and educators to grapple with. Dr Rajan Bhonsle, HOD sexual health at the KEM hospital, studies typical experiences of two young boys and the risks their inadequate awareness and education have subjected them to. Never too young 16-year-old Vikram Gokhle is a high school student at a leading city public school. A popular senior, he has been in a relationship with a fellow classmate for the past year. "My girlfriend and I were both virgins when we met. A few months ago we had intercourse for the first time. She was hesitant and skeptical initially so we waited. My friends who were sexually active themselves gave me essential tips and I had seen enough porn to tell me how things work. I was very keen to try it and convinced my girlfriend about precautions etc. When we finally got to it, it was a struggle. The mechanics of it were not easy. It took us a couple of tries to start enjoying it. I was happy to find someone I could share this with. I don't think I am too young. I was emotionally ready and I like her a lot. It's not illegal if you both want to, right?" Penetrative sex, even consensual between two minors, ie under 18 years of age, is illegal and a punishable offense. In this case, they both are and the boy is clearly eager to explore his sexuality. His hormones drive his decision to take his relationship to the next level. With inadequate information and protection he risks impregnating the girl. At 16, one is completely incapable of handling the responsibilities sexual consequences. Additionally, exposing and over exposing a young mind and body to sex and porn has longterm emotional and psychological consequences that often surface much later in life. People suffer from emotional outbursts and incapacities such as erectile dysfunction, low sperm count, low libido etc, at a young age while having intercourse with their spouses that can be traced back to immature sexual experiences as a young adult. Jump start 22-year-old Prashant Desai is a young college student and has multiple sexual encounters since the age of 19. He has been dating his present girlfriend for the past eight months. "At 19, I felt like a late bloomer. Most of my mates were well ahead of the game. I was in an all-boys catholic school and had minimal interaction with women growing up. My first experience was with a much older married neighbour. I had always found her attractive but her interest in me was surprising and very encouraging. I had been accessing porn for years and school had tried their bit to tell us about protection. I was insecure about my size and whether I would be able to satisfy an older woman. The experience was educational and very liberating." There are countless risks to the above mentioned case. To begin with, having intercourse with an unknown or promiscuous partner is very dangerous. If the lady seduced him, she could have had numerous priors as well, any of which could have given her either HIV/AIDS or any of the 32 other varieties of STDs that can be transferred. At times it takes over 10 years for symptoms of HIV to surface, during which she could have infected a lot of people. Subsequently, he would be risking all his future partners to the same fate. A single sexual encounter is capable of transmitting the incurable disease. In a similar incident, the young man contracted HIV/AIDS from his first and only sexual encounter and paid for it very dearly. While their eagerness and enthusiasm is understandable, the physical and psychological implications of irresponsible sexual behaviour are too grave to ignore. People are known to suffer from obsessive compulsive behaviour, infertility, intimacy issues etc well into their 40s' and 50s' as a result of their reckless attitude. Wait for it These days a large number of youngsters, both single and couples, seek professional help openly. Awareness has made doctors and help accessible and if communication channels with parents and teachers are strained, they have numerous options to choose from. "Age appropriate sex and value based sex education inculcates a more morally sound individual. Online counselors, books, sex therapists and other safe reliable sources of information are critical in handing out proper information," says Dr Bhosale. Public schools across the country have programs and sessions that regularly discuss sex and sex education but the attitude of parents and teachers need to be more welcoming and encouraging to debate and questioning. Names changed on request. In the movie Udaan, the lead character Rohan and his classmates are expelled from school for watching an A rated movie. Watching porn and adult movies to get sexual gratification is common among young adolescents.